Wednesday 20 February 2013

Mother's Day


Mother’s Day gives us a chance to thank our mums, grans, step mums (and so on) for all they do for us in life and perhaps to remember lost loved ones with fondness.   

Mums are often elevated to sainthood but like all human beings, mothers aren’t perfect!  (As a mum and a gran I’m allowed to say this)!  Sometimes children unfairly assume that mum has them at the centre of everything they do (and they’re usually right)!  

Other assumptions and beliefs about mums are that they don’t have a love life (toddlers try to see to this), nor should they (adolescents believe this) and adult children shudder at the thought of mum even having a cuddle with dad or if dad is no longer around, dare I say it another man.  Sometimes mothers are not considered to be individuals with an independent life. 

I have nominated myself to defend the mums seeking their individual identity while trying so hard to be carer, nurse, cook, cleaner, full-time/part-time worker, listener, friend, book-keeper, idea’s person, .........etc. etc. Etc. Go for it mums -discover freedom! (By this I don’t mean running off like Shirley Valentine!!)

Despite the above I do love being a mum and gran, but I also enjoy time to myself and think this is important.  It can be difficult to find middle ground - being a supportive parent while at the same time making sure I have time to develop and grow as an individual. 

Mums need to receive as well as give. We all have different needs - what I need from my family may be different to what you need from yours.  Things important to me are: 

Time, care, understanding, tolerance, acceptance, consideration, respect and most importantly, love. 

I am lucky and receive some of the above often.  On occasion I have received so much more and am very appreciative. However, some women think they should never expect anything from their family. It’s right that we shouldn’t ‘expect’ things from others but through sharing our feelings and having self esteem as a woman as well as a mum our family will understand the needs we have. 

So what about ‘Mother’s Day’?  - Money making idea or opportunity to cater to mum’s needs with a special gift or spending time with her? 

It’s difficult to spend time with your mum on Mother’s Day as you also have to consider mother-in-law, grans – as well as yourself!   How can you manage it in practice? One possible solution could be going out together for a family meal and sharing the cost. 

A thoughtful, but not necessarily expensive, gift is always appreciated. It doesn’t have to be a last minute thought collected at the garage with petrol. 

Does she like writing or travelling? -  Perhaps she would appreciate a nice journal.  Avid readers may welcome a new bookmark while a nice photo frame will allow her to display family photos. 



You should also consider what she won’t welcome – don’t buy chocolates for someone trying to lose weight or flowers for someone allergic to them! Sounds obvious but sometimes we leave it so late it’s hard to find an alternative!  We’ve all done it! 
 
So how can you best show love and consideration to your mum on mother’s day and every day? 

A mother is a mother every day of the year, not perfect but doing the best she can. How can you do the best you can? 

Florence

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