Mother’s
Day gives us a chance to thank our mums, grans, step mums (and so on) for all
they do for us in life and perhaps to remember lost loved ones with
fondness.
Mums
are often elevated to sainthood but like all human beings, mothers aren’t perfect! (As a mum and a gran I’m allowed to say this)! Sometimes children unfairly assume that mum
has them at the centre of everything they do (and they’re usually right)!
Other
assumptions and beliefs about mums are that they don’t have a love life
(toddlers try to see to this), nor should they (adolescents believe this) and
adult children shudder at the thought of mum even having a cuddle with dad or
if dad is no longer around, dare I say it another man. Sometimes mothers are not considered to be
individuals with an independent life.
I
have nominated myself to defend the mums seeking their individual identity while
trying so hard to be carer, nurse, cook, cleaner, full-time/part-time worker,
listener, friend, book-keeper, idea’s person, .........etc. etc. Etc. Go for it
mums -discover freedom! (By this I don’t mean running off like Shirley
Valentine!!)
Despite
the above I do love being a mum and gran, but I also enjoy time to myself and
think this is important. It can be
difficult to find middle ground - being a supportive parent while at the same
time making sure I have time to develop and grow as an individual.
Mums
need to receive as well as give. We all have different needs - what I need from
my family may be different to what you need from yours. Things important to me are:
Time, care, understanding,
tolerance, acceptance, consideration, respect and most importantly, love.
I
am lucky and receive some of the above often.
On occasion I have received so much more and am very appreciative.
However, some women think they should never expect anything from their family. It’s
right that we shouldn’t ‘expect’ things from others but through sharing our
feelings and having self esteem as a woman as well as a mum our family will
understand the needs we have.
So
what about ‘Mother’s Day’? - Money
making idea or opportunity to cater to mum’s needs with a special gift or
spending time with her?
It’s
difficult to spend time with your mum on Mother’s Day as you also have to
consider mother-in-law, grans – as well as yourself! How can you manage it in practice? One
possible solution could be going out together for a family meal and sharing the
cost.
A
thoughtful, but not necessarily expensive, gift is always appreciated. It doesn’t
have to be a last minute thought collected at the garage with petrol.
Does
she like writing or travelling? -
Perhaps she would appreciate a nice journal. Avid readers may welcome a new bookmark while
a nice photo frame will allow her to display family photos.
You
should also consider what she won’t welcome – don’t buy chocolates for someone
trying to lose weight or flowers for someone allergic to them! Sounds obvious
but sometimes we leave it so late it’s hard to find an alternative! We’ve all done it!
So
how can you best show love and consideration to your mum on mother’s day and
every day?
A
mother is a mother every day of the year, not perfect but doing the best she
can. How can you do the best you can?
Florence
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